Chaos & Order: on friendship

I miss blogging about things other than school, work and the weather... so I'll talk about the one thing on all ex-ywammers' minds: friendship. Or, lack of.

So basically when you're a ywammer, your friends are picked for you. BUT, since each staff member chose to give up all their other plans of career and school etc for varying time periods, and loves God and missions and creativity and honesty and integrity, and is generally a really nice person,etc etc, having your friends chosen for you is pretty awesome. We're all on a similar page, even if it looks totally different. We're also into the whole "community" thing, and use that word more often than most humans. So when one leaves this community and moves to a new city to make a life there, it's a pretty big change-slash-slap-in-the-face. Now, it's not about "us" or "we", it's just about doing the every day things like work or school or raising your kid or whatever. Which is all great things, but that huge chunk of your life that was entwined in all these other people's lives is pretty much gone, no matter how many blogs you read or emails you get. So, why would anyone leave, you ask? Well, some people don't, but they don't have it too much easier because they have to stay back and watch all their bosom buddies leave. And those of us who do leave generally just start to get that feeling that it's time to move on to other things.

I lay all this out, simply for the back story of how I (and I'm sure many other ex-ywammers) feel now. The first thing that crosses my mind is: will I ever find a group of friends that know me as deeply as my ywammers? The second thing: will I ever feel like I'm part of something big again? And third, if so, WHEN? Oh and fourth, how the heck do 'normal' people make friends?

posted by jamie @ 8:49 PM

5 Comments:

At 1:36 PM, March 16, 2008, Leanne said…

AMEN! and why do i get jealous when my ywam friends start making friends wherever they've moved to? i've felt this ever since i left ywam. it's been almost 3 years and although i'm part of a small group bible study, there's just not that closeness like there was when we ywamers were all living and working and doing life together for a common goal. i'm glad to hear that i'm not the only one having a difficult time of it...
At 9:18 PM, March 16, 2008, j. oates said…

jamie, of course you said it all..exactly how i've been feeling lately.....
At 12:43 PM, March 17, 2008, Rachel said…

EXACTLY!!!
At 4:06 PM, March 17, 2008, Kristina said…

thanks for expressing my feelings, pooter.
At 1:58 PM, March 31, 2008, Unknown said…

Ah Jamie, I guess it's called growing up (sorry to say). Although I didn't go to ywam, I had some of those same experiences in college. It's a time of your life when you are separating from your family and bonding with others who are sharing the same life experiences. It does change when you get out in the 'real world'. One tends to become focused on spouses, jobs, homes, children, etc. which leaves less time for those social bonding experiences. That's why it's good to get involved in your church.