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    Monday, July 11, 2005

    tonight i went to my first observation meeting for the crisis line... I honestly do not know how i am going to be able to go on with this. Yet i know God wants me there so that i can hopefully be a light to some people and be able to pray for them... i dont understand how i will be able to talk to the callers without desperetly wanting to tell them that there is hope and that God loves them so much and wants to help them and heal them....

    what do you say to people who are hopeless, without sharing with them your own source of life? I am at a loss...and as far as i know, i am the only christian in my group that i am training with right now.

    We listened in on 5 different callers, and surprisingly the first call was someone wanting to committ suicide. I basically cried through the whole call. It wasnt just hearing about callers anymore - it was a live and hurting human being on the other end. I am so glad we didnt have to answer the calls yet.. only listen on speaker phone to our instructer answering them. I feel like i need weeks more training and listening to other people's calls before i am ready to answer them on my own, yet i only get one more observation time with a few days more training before they put us on the lines. wow.... God i need your strenth to get through this.......... I will not give up though -- and dang it if i feel like i am suppose to share the gospel with someone on the phone i will have to do it even if they kick me off!! Imagine getting to heaven and hearing about all the people that just needed to hear that there was hope, and that there was a God who loved them and died for them?
    posted by jamie @ 2:08 AM  
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    Name: jamie
    Home: St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada
    About Me: I am an American living in Ontario. I've just recently started going to school again for a BA in Human Services. I like mexican and indian food and watching tv way more than the average individual. I absolutely love talking to my parents on the phone and my brother is one of my best friends. I'm married to a great guy whose pretty much the exact opposite of me but he loves me and makes laugh and we have a lot of fun. I didn't always feel this way, but these days I'm feelin' pretty good. That's my life, welcome to chaos and order.
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